


The old gods hang out in a bar

by batmanforeverlol



Series: Just a bunch of scriddler Aus [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gods AU, I'm going to be writing short chapters for this, It's going to be ooc, M/M, just a heads up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-06-27 08:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15681615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batmanforeverlol/pseuds/batmanforeverlol
Summary: A collection of drabbles





	1. Who's the new guy?

“Who is he?” Edward’s eyes were on the individual who had entered the room. It wasn't anyone he recognized which was annoying seeing as he took great pride in knowing anyone and everyone who stepped foot in the bar. The others at his table looked up intrigued to see who had caused the man to ask such a question. 

“I don't recognize him, maybe he's one of the Greeks?” Selina’s eyes scanned the character.

“He's not one of us.” Pamela looked back at her companions. 

“He's not Roman either.” Harvey didn't even look up from his drink. 

“How about you go ask him?” Everyone turned to look at Harley. “Or maybe ask someone else?” 

“I went last time so it's someone else's turn.” Selina said matter of factly and went back to eating some peanuts. 

“Not it.” 

“Not it.”

“Not it.” 

“You go Harvey.” 

Harvey flipped a quarter, he looked at the side that landed, finished his drink and stood up.

“This is really childish.” Pamela rolled her eyes.

“Says the one who said ‘not it’ first.” 

“Sue me Edward.”

“I might.”

Harvey made his way to the Roman tables and tapped Bruce's shoulder. He directed his attention to the man currently sitting at a table by themselves. Bruce looked at them and asked the person next to him. This went on for a couple of minutes before Harvey nodded and he went back to them. He took his seat and his drink was already refilled. 

“We don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know?”

“Well you didn't know either self proclaimed know it all. If anybody should know it's you so if you want to find out, go ask him yourself.” Harvey then took a breath and a sip of his drink. 

“Selina?”

“Don't even think about Eddie.”

“I can get you that necklace you want.”

“I can get it myself.” 

“You're no fun. Fine I'll go.”

He makes his way through the the sea of people and tables, greeting some as he goes. As he gets nearer the individual's appearance makes itself clearer. They have tan skin and dark long hair, his face obscured and he can't see his eyes. As he gets closer things change, he notices that his tan skin is somehow pale and that he's thin, almost skeletal. He's almost at the table and when he gets there he freezes because he's looking right at him. 

Everything about him is sharp, his nose, his cheekbones, his eyes. They look at him with a coldness that make them seem as if they've never held warmth. Edwards stops. His eyes are a pale blue, almost grey, almost white. They clash with everything about him but at the same time they fit him. 

“Is there something you need?” His voice is deep, controlled. He's not speaking loudly and yet he has his full attention. 

Edward clears his throat and sits down. “Yes, I've never seen you here before and I was just curious to know who you are.” 

“I never invited you to sit down.” 

“Guess I just invited myself.” 

He stares at Edward. “Who are you?”

“I'm sure you can figure it out by yourself, you are a god of knowledge after all.” 

“How did you-”

“I know who you are Mr. Nygma,” they check their watch, “but it seems I have overstayed my welcome. I suppose I shall be seeing you soon.” 

He finishes his drink and leaves something on the bale that he doesn't recognize. He stands up and disappears into the crowd. Edward looks closely at the bean like things in the table and his glass and notices some frost. 

He picks the ‘beans’ up and leaves a coin behind. He goes back to his table, defeated but not deterred from his goal. 

“So how did it go?”

“He didn't tell me anything-” 

“Pay up Lina.” She placed a stack of coins in front of him.

“-but he left this as his payment.”He drops the ‘beans’ on the table, the frost already melted from the heat of his hand. “Anyone have any ideas?” 

Harley looked at one of the beans and popped it in her mouth. She made a face and spit it out. “That's nasty.”

“Why the hell did you put in your mouth?”

“I don't know.”

Pamela picked one up. “It's a cacao bean.” She put it back on the table. “It can used as currency in some places.” 

“Thank you Pamela for giving me useful information, now if you'll excuse me, I have some research to do.” He stood up left a coin and walked out. 

“We should have told him.” Harley looked at the rest.

“But where would be the fun in that?” Without Harvey noticing, Selina took her coins back.

\------

“What the hell is he doing here?” At their table was the man from the other day sitting next to Harley sipping a drink like nothing was going on.

“Oh this is Jonathan.”

“That's the man we saw a week ago.”

“Really? I think you're thinking of someone else cause we didn't know that guy.” 

“Yeah we didn't know him.”

“Did Bruce know him?” He looked over at the Roman table and Brice quickly looked back down.” Unbelievable. You were in on all this?”

“Maybe.”

“You guys suck. Do you know how much time I spent researching this? How much time I wasted because you didn't think to tell me?”

Harvey looked like he was holding back laughter while the rest looked at each other and took a drink. 

“It was what 5 day? That's barely five minutes for us and you've spent longer time researching even less significant things.” 

Edward sits down and a waitress places a drink in front of him. “I'm not paying for this. Anyway Jonathan, where do you belong on the vast categories of human mythology?”

“I'm Aztec.”

“Aztec? We don't see many of your kind around here.”

“We prefer to keep to ourselves. Last time we met with a god from across the sea, our people were slaughtered and our heritage was defaced and destroyed.” 

“I know what you mean, we still have some anger towards the Romans but it's been getting better over the years.”

“Hey we didn't decide to take over.”

“We're not doing this again Harvey.” Selina threw a peanut at him. 

“What's your name? If you don't mind me asking.”

“Itztlacoliuhqui.” 

“Well Itslakoliucui, I'm Thoth.” 

“Nice to officially meet you.” 

“Did I pronounce it correctly?”

“Better than others but no.” 

“Well I'll stick to Jonathan to save us both the trouble.”

They continued to chat, quickly changing the topic, one where Jonathan wasn't the center of. Edward noticed that he was wearing gloves, something weird since it wasn't winter and the bar was pretty stuffy. He also saw that each time he took a drink, the rim of the glass would have some frost which would disappear until he drank again. Time passes and Harley had to leave so Edward took her seat next to Jonathan. 

“What are you the God of?” He asked quietly as if not to disturb the group conversation.

“It's quite the list.”

“It's not like I'm going anywhere any time soon.”

“Since you have my name maybe you should try finding it out yourself.”

“I'm not doing this again.”

“It might take you three days instead of five.”

“I'll probably be able to do it in one.”


	2. I miss the good old days

“Why did you come to Gotham?” 

“I grew tired of the others and I'm more in my area here anyway.” 

“But why here specifically? You could have gone anywhere else.”

“This city has an unusually high population of gods and I was intrigued. I also knew it was unlikely that anyone was going with me if I moved here.”

It was just the two of them at the table that night. The rest had called and said they were busy, Jonathan knew what they were doing but he didn't have the energy nor the patience to deal with it, so he just went for his drink and for some conversation. 

“Tough family?”

“Its complicated but I rather not go into that right now.”

“Understandable. What do you do here?”

“ I'm a psychology professor at the university. And yes I did have to get the doctorate and everything.” 

“We're here on earth, all powerful, and you chose to go to school? You're the first I've heard of to do so. Everyone else just sticks to what they know and makes a living out of it, if you consider this living.” 

“Do you?”

“It has its moments but it's repetitive and boring. Nothing happens unless you make it or let it happen and everything is so...bland.”

“I take it you're part of the majority that wishes it was still like before.” 

“Of course I am. I had temples, temples! People dedicated their lives to worshipping me and now look at what I've become. My temples are ruins and tourist attractions. My stories have no chance making it into most history books and no one worships me anymore.” 

“Such is the fate for ones as old as us.”

“The Hindu gods are still living the high life.”

“True, but their religion is still breathing while ours was smothered. There is the occasional practicer but it isn't like it was and we have to accept that it never will be.”

“I don't understand why we weren't made human after our religions died.”

“We were born gods and we shall die gods, though there are times where being human would be more preferable. Maybe you should see if there is a reason after all.”

“Maybe I should.” He had, when his civilization fell he went looking for answers but ended up finding more questions. For years he never stopped looking but the frustration started getting to him and he quit. He could only stare at blank page for so long. “Why psychology?”

Jonathan gave him a faint smile. “I was always curious on how our minds work and I’ve come to learn that we’re more human than we think. We think a and feel the same way and if it weren’t for our curious relation with death, we could be seen as human. We’re imperfect and not so high and mighty as we think.” 

“Tell that to the Catholic god.” Jonathan chuckles and Edward found himself wanting to hear that sound again.

“Perhaps they should give us a visit and I’m sure all of us could make him see that claiming to be all good and all powerful isn’t the best thing to do.” 

“I have a whole speech written out for when that day comes. I don’t understand how claiming to love humanity and at the same time claiming to create everything works. Creating disease and suffering doesn't seem very loving to me.” 

“At least our people knew we make mistakes and have the occasional bout of anger.”

“Right! Ugh it got boring after the first hundred years and now it's everywhere. It replaced all of us and it wasn't even optional in most cases.”

“You don't like being replaced?”

“No. I was happy, I had my people and the others. We were all together and everything was good then the Romans came in and kicked us out. It's just replacement after replacement and I'm tired of it all. Do you miss being a proper god?”

“I can't say I don't but I can't say I do. I wasn't entirely happy where I was and though I love my people they only respected me because they feared me. When I was younger I reveled in it but as I watched I came to realize that it wasn't a good way to live. Since there's no one that worships there no one that fears and I can say that it brings me a level of peace.” 

“They feared you, why?” 

“Not all of them did, astronomers were fascinated by my designated planet but I was a bearer of bad news back in the day. I won't say anymore because I remember you saying that you could figure out what I'm the god of.”

“And I have.”

“Then you already know.”

“But I want to hear you say it.”

“What difference would it make?”

“Come on! I dug around entire libraries to figure that out so you owe me.”

“I don't recall there being a wager.”

“Humor me.” 

“Only this time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Itztlacoliuhqui (Jonathan) is the god of frost, ice, cold, winter, sin, punishment and human misery. He is also the god of objectivity and blind-folded justice. He is a variant of Tezcatlipoca and associated with the night and the north.


	3. Why the gloves?

“Why do you wear gloves?” 

“Everything I touch would freeze if I didn't .”

“So everything your skin touches freezes?” 

“Yes.”

“Then how are you're clothes still fine?”

“Because I don't want my clothes to freeze. I control it to a certain extent.” 

“How so?”

“Before my presence alone would cause places to have below zero temperatures.”

“Your presence? So if you entered this bar it would freeze?”

“Yes. The floor, ceiling and walls would have ice. All the drinks would freeze the taps wouldn't work and there would probably be snow.”

“Probably?”

“It's been a while since it last happened and I'm prone to forgetting details.” 

“A shame.”

“Is it?”

“Every loss of knowledge is a shame, no matter how small. The details might mean millions in the future.”

“You don’t like to forget.”

“It never was an option for me. I have to record everything because no one is going to do it for me.”

“Do you want to forget?”

“We all want to forget something.”

“Do you?” Edward stayed quiet for a moment and Jonathan didn't push the question further, he did look a little upset and Jonathan felt a little guilty. “Edward, I’m about to do something stupid and you better pay attention because I’ll never do it again.”

Edward looked at him and then to the displeasure of those around them, it started snowing. People who were reaching for their drinks saw their cups become decorated with frost and all liquid froze. The floor turned to ice and one person had the misfortune of slipping and falling right on their ass. Edward looked around in fascination but failed to notice that he and his glass were unaffected by it all, even his side of the table held no ice. The snow didn’t touch him but it was starting to cover everything else. He also missed how Jonathan's eyes glowed a soft blue. 

“Okay, whoever thought this was funny cut it out or get out!” Jonathan smirked and then the temperature plummeted. “You have to be fucking kidding me!” 

Someone stood up and everything melted and instead of it snowing it rained. “Nice going Garfield!”

“At least it isn't freezing!” 

“At least before I wasn’t wet!” 

A shouting match started and a very frustrated Dionysus and Bacchus tried to break it up. 

“So it does snow, good to know.”


	4. A discovery of sorts

Edward pushed a door open and let Jonathan inside. 

“Just put your shoes over there and you can hang your coat if you want.” 

Jonathan reluctantly took his shoes off but kept his coat. Edward made his way to the other side of the room, several candles and a fireplace lit up as he passed. The dark room slowly began to be illuminated by the light of the candles. The dark wood floor was warm (not that Jonathan would know) and the atmosphere itself held a form of foreign comfort. It felt safe. 

To say there was a sea of bookshelves would be no exaggeration seeing as the space looked endless and the lights of the candles seemed to go on forever. There was expensive looking furniture with papers arranged in an organized chaos that could be only understood by the one who created it. Different tools, different maps, diagrams, there was everything about everything and Jonathan had never felt more fascinated in his entire life. 

“Nice right?” 

“It's beautiful.”

“Thank you. It took several centuries but here it is. The biggest collection of books both ancient and new.”

“You've collected everything?”

“Well not everything, there are still books to be published and I'm sure that new things will be found, but I do have the majority of books belonging to the ancient world.”

“Majority?”

“There are books that are hard to locate even for me and there are people who don't like to share.” 

“Do you have a favorite?”

“Book? No, but I have a favorite collection.” Suddenly they were in a completely different part of the library and it was as if the room had moved and not them. The desk was gone and in its place was a statue and several artifacts Jonathan didn't recognize. “This is the entire library of Alexandria.” 

“You...have the library of Alexandria... Didn't it burn?”

“The building certainly did but who would I be to leave all this knowledge go up in flames.”

“Do the humans know it still here?”

“No! They're the ones who set it on fire to begin with but even if I were to give it to them now, they wouldn't appreciate it. It would be placed in a museum, behind glass and only a select few would be able to read it. It’s safer here and more useful.” 

“I suppose you’re right.” Jonathan watched the texts from afar, he wanted nothing more than to Hold one but he stopped himself. This wasn't his to touch and read. 

“Do you like reading?” Edward looked at him with curious eyes and a soft smile. 

“Yes I do.” 

Edward’s smile widened just a bit and his eyes reflected something. “Great! I have several recommendations.”

The setting changed once again and Edward was talking to him while pointing at book after book, but the words he spoke never truly reached his ears. He was mesmerized in watching him talk and move with such enthusiasm. And the joy in his voice, in his eyes was something he couldn't have ever related to but he suddenly wished to feel the warmth of whatever it was Edward was feeling. He found himself, for the first time in his long life, resenting the cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like how this one turned out.


End file.
